Just the other day I listened to a video by Miam Bialik talking about how online dating is leading to the collapse of western civilization, which I personally consider a bit of a stretch, but her beef with the platforms was the creation of marketplaces where you’re essentially shopping for humans. The commoditization of human connection seemed hard to get past. If it’s any consolation, I empathize with introversion and avoidance of small talk.
"The collapse of civilization". A bit much, indeed ;). But I think the commodification is a good point. I'd also say it goes beyond dating. A big chunk of social media in general is predicated on this whole idea. Almost every guide tells us how to become a 'brand', to offer 'value'. Those very terms - even though I might agree to some extent with the value suggestion - annoy me. As you are no doubt aware, this is also rampant in the health/fitness scene. The people who look/present themselves the best (aka offer the best 'human product') are by far the most popular, even if they spout utter nonsense. Sorry for the little rant :).
True, I can't tell you how many times I've heard some variation of, "If a personal trainer isn't ripped, their advice is null and void." Marketing trumps evidence in the age of instant gratification.
really interesting angle: looking at online dating from an introvert's perspective. as an introvert myself, I do think dating apps make it a little easier to "approach" people I might not normally strike up a conversation with IRL. at the same time, it's easier for an extrovert to shine on dating apps since the medium is so visual and focused on short, snappy descriptors.
Thank, Elaine. I agree entirely. Though it might differ among different apps, but my experience is far too limited to say one way or another. But yeah, I suppose that in all of them there's a good portion of pretense and preference management. Maybe putting your true personality front and center might help attract the kind of people you're looking for ("Yo, I'm an introvert and prefer wandering through bookshops rather than go drinking :)") Then again, you'll probably get less swipes... (You only need one good one, perhaps.)
I have never used a dating app so can’t comment on that but having lost my wife to cancer I thought about compatibility requirements for any future relationship. Being retired and financially secure, intellectual compatibility was my prime criteria.
Just the other day I listened to a video by Miam Bialik talking about how online dating is leading to the collapse of western civilization, which I personally consider a bit of a stretch, but her beef with the platforms was the creation of marketplaces where you’re essentially shopping for humans. The commoditization of human connection seemed hard to get past. If it’s any consolation, I empathize with introversion and avoidance of small talk.
"The collapse of civilization". A bit much, indeed ;). But I think the commodification is a good point. I'd also say it goes beyond dating. A big chunk of social media in general is predicated on this whole idea. Almost every guide tells us how to become a 'brand', to offer 'value'. Those very terms - even though I might agree to some extent with the value suggestion - annoy me. As you are no doubt aware, this is also rampant in the health/fitness scene. The people who look/present themselves the best (aka offer the best 'human product') are by far the most popular, even if they spout utter nonsense. Sorry for the little rant :).
True, I can't tell you how many times I've heard some variation of, "If a personal trainer isn't ripped, their advice is null and void." Marketing trumps evidence in the age of instant gratification.
really interesting angle: looking at online dating from an introvert's perspective. as an introvert myself, I do think dating apps make it a little easier to "approach" people I might not normally strike up a conversation with IRL. at the same time, it's easier for an extrovert to shine on dating apps since the medium is so visual and focused on short, snappy descriptors.
Thank, Elaine. I agree entirely. Though it might differ among different apps, but my experience is far too limited to say one way or another. But yeah, I suppose that in all of them there's a good portion of pretense and preference management. Maybe putting your true personality front and center might help attract the kind of people you're looking for ("Yo, I'm an introvert and prefer wandering through bookshops rather than go drinking :)") Then again, you'll probably get less swipes... (You only need one good one, perhaps.)
I have never used a dating app so can’t comment on that but having lost my wife to cancer I thought about compatibility requirements for any future relationship. Being retired and financially secure, intellectual compatibility was my prime criteria.
Sorry to hear that, Geoff. Being complementary enough to have fun, interesting, and challenging conversations is definitely a big plus.