The Essence of Life

Or, a tiny old book conquers happiness

Conquering happiness

I recently read a small, almost century-old book by British mathematician, philosopher, and Nobel Prize laureate Bertrand Russell. He is perhaps most known as a giant in formal logic and for his (at the time) progressive views and pacifism. Yet, the little book I read does not tackle those topics. It is called The Conquest of Happiness¹, and, even though it was published in 1930, it proves remarkably prescient on what research (flawed though it can be) has revealed about happiness².

He starts with a swipe at other intellectuals, lamenting that many of them espouse the view that cynicism is a sign of insight and intelligence. In contrast, Russell claims that cynicism is only the combination of powerlessness and comfort — you don’t like the world but are too comfortable to change it. (Russell calling me out, part 1.)

Then, he begins his exploration in earnest, venturing into the causes of (un)happiness.

Before we join him, two brief clarifications: First, Russell is not looking at the big loud feeling of ecstasy that some of us think happiness is — these peak experiences, as we’ve seen before, are unsustainable. No, he’s talking about the current of contentment that lets us face life with poise and equanimity, the gentle smile that allows us to see and experience the beautiful moments in our days. Second, he clarifies that, of course, ill health, discrimination, and poverty can severely impact one’s happiness. In The Conquest of Happiness, however, he’ll focus on the malaise of discontent in people spared of those challenges. Or:

…the ordinary day-to-day unhappiness from which most people in civilized countries suffer, and which is all the more unbearable because, having no obvious external cause, it appears inescapable.

Onward.

What makes people (un)happy?

Bertrand Russell. I hope I can keep such boyish mischief in my eyes when I grow old. (Wikimedia Commons, Dutch National Archives)

(Un)happy campers

Russell distinguishes eight sources of unhappiness, but they run into and through each other, so let me summarize them as follows:

We lack meaning and fear boredom. We spend our time doing things that we don’t find worthwhile and at the same time, we’re terrified of ‘wasting’ time by letting our minds wander — yet it’s often through wandering that we find insights. We need a good balance between excitement and boredom. Too much of either is detrimental. With the emphasis on a lack of meaning in a lot of jobs, he presages the rise of what David Graeber famously called bullshit jobs. In this context, Russell mentions ‘nervous fatigue³’, which we now call occupational burnout.

The next few causes of unhappiness have their roots in how we see ourselves. Pointless competition with others and envy of their success do not make us happy, yet we can’t stop chasing those feelings. I’m guessing Russell would have liked the current incarnation of social media… In the same context, he’s also concerned about self-absorption. Sometimes, we think we need to find happiness within ourselves. Nothing can be farther from the truth. One specific sentence in the book that - obviously, if you know me⁴ - ruffled my feathers is his take on introversion:

We are all prone to the malady of the introvert, who, with the manifold spectacle of the world spread out before him, turns away and gazes only upon the emptiness within.

Um… Excuse me, sir, what did I ever do to you? (Calling me out, part 2.)

Finally, if we’re too worried about what others think of us, we’ll also be unhappy. Russell divides this into two facets: the sense that others judge us for doing something wrong or not adhering to (occasionally nonsensical) social norms, and the feeling that others are coming for us or looking to stand in our way. It would take more than half a century before psychologists would formally describe the spotlight effect. Russell already knew.

Invisible threads

The cure for the unhappiness that flows from these causes, our philosophical friend proposes, lies in a handful of mindset shifts. In combination, they boil down to the following:

Cultivate interests and pursue them with both effort and a sense of humor. As in, don’t take yourself too seriously. You’ll fail and you’ll get rejected. Laugh at your mistakes, learn from them, and get back into it. Don’t dwell on them. (Calling me out, part 3.)

Russell mentions the importance of zest — enjoyable excitement. Today, some researchers call such zest an antidote to suicide and it (probably) improves the life satisfaction of people in dire circumstances, such as cancer patients. Similarly, he suggests finding work that means something to you and not being afraid to work hard at this meaningful pursuit, but never at the cost of a good work-life balance.

That work-life balance is very important, Russell claims, because feeling unloved can drain one’s zest like nothing else can. Invest in your family and social relationships. If we’ve learned anything from the ‘longest running study on human happiness’, or the Harvard Study of Adult Development, it’s that having high-quality social relationships is the number one boost for individual happiness. Importantly, cherish your romantic ties and never hold back on showing affection. (Russell got married four times himself...). In his words:

… love is to be valued because it enhances all the best pleasures, such as music, and sunrise in mountains, and the sea under the full moon. A man who has never enjoyed beautiful things in the company of a woman whom he loved has not experienced to the full the magic power of which such things are capable.

One crucial insight that Russell provides is that happiness does not come from within, nor is it solely determined by the environment; it exists in the invisible threads that bind us together.

The essence of life is so, so simple, and yet so, so hard. Pursue your interests, do meaningful work, don’t take yourself too seriously, and, above all, love vigorously and unconditionally.

1. You can read The Conquest of Happiness in full on Internet Archive where it’s also available to download in various formats.

2. If you want to know more about the research on life satisfaction, check out my breakdown of the ‘sad’ graph of our lives.

3. Russell also links nervous fatigue to excessive noise, and we now know that noise pollution has substantial physiological and psychological effects.

4. However, introversion has changed meaning somewhat since his day and age. Russell’s promotion of a quiet, simple life feels quite introverted. I wrote a whole series about the science and experience of introversion back in the early days of the newsletter…