This is one of the most important essays. I have been a Pharmacist in mental care for over 40 years, and agree with the conclusion that disruption of narrative by sexual abuse, bigotry, alienation and privation are the biggest drivers of mental illness, which affects us all. Just take a walk to your downtown area and see tent city encampments, panhandling, drug deals in open display. Look at rental prices, food prices and figure out how people are going to support themselves, which disrupts coherent narratives. Suicide is the second biggest cause of teenagers from social media disrupting narratives, our jails have become homes for the mentally I’ll which explains recidivism, if a person is left with nothing, why should he care?
We have forgotten that we are a community with both personal and social contracts. It’s not just one way traffic. We owe them opportunity to realize their dreams, including shelter, education, nutrition, mentorship, which gives agency, which allows them to realize their dream.
Thank you for writing this essay on a neglected subject that is only going to get worse without intervention, compassion and empathy.
Exactly this: "We owe them opportunity to realize their dreams, including shelter, education, nutrition, mentorship, which gives agency, which allows them to realize their dream." So many people seem to think that it's a zero-sum game, while it *could* be a win-win.
Well said! We, need to find, ourselves (plural). The transition from the imprisoned, isolated “Me” to the connected “We” will help us all be happier and healthier.
I feel like I'll be writing from a little more of the bootstraps perspective.
I was cued into the importance of agency for happiness a decade ago, in public-health studies. I like to think that my freedom from obligations (no dependents, no debt, veteran healthcare coverage) has been sufficient to have the agency I do (though I also have a safety net that I've thankfully not had to use much yet).
A line from a movie that's stuck with me for decades now (though apparently it was in the comic book decades before that) is from the Tobey Maguire Spider-Man: "With great power comes great responsibility." Granted. But your article made me think of turning that quote around.
I hypothesize that, if one accepts all that one is capable of, one becomes capable of lots (though the chances of any of it happening may remain slim). One can bash oneself for NOT achieving what one set out to do. ("Do or do not. There is no try.") But the agency one feels -- to try a different way -- more than pays for the setback.
So, how can we convince people that accepting responsibility is key to happiness through agency? Yes, we face all the challenges. But we stand zero chance against them if we give up before we try, leading to despair in the present and demise in the future.
Thanks, Ben. Let's see if I can offer some thoughts.
- "... if one accepts all that one is capable of..." Can we ever truly know this? Also, this changes and is not (only) up to the individual. Context, environment, actions of others...
- Responsibility is indeed a way to get a sense of agency (nice one, by the way), but I doubt it's the only (or even best?) way. Responsibility is in essence dependent on a sense of duty/accountability. I can easily imagine someone going full hedonist and decide to do stuff (agency) just because it feel good. I can also imagine that, in some instances, these people will be very happy (at least for a while?).
- I wonder if there's a difference between a responsibility you choose vs one that is given to you. Speaking only for myself, the agency I might acquire by a responsibility that is 'forced' on me does the opposite of make me happy (but I might be an outlier here).
All you can do is all you can do. If you have no control over it, there's no reason for you to feel guilty (or resentful) about it. But anything you DO have control over, well, ... :)
This is one of the most important essays. I have been a Pharmacist in mental care for over 40 years, and agree with the conclusion that disruption of narrative by sexual abuse, bigotry, alienation and privation are the biggest drivers of mental illness, which affects us all. Just take a walk to your downtown area and see tent city encampments, panhandling, drug deals in open display. Look at rental prices, food prices and figure out how people are going to support themselves, which disrupts coherent narratives. Suicide is the second biggest cause of teenagers from social media disrupting narratives, our jails have become homes for the mentally I’ll which explains recidivism, if a person is left with nothing, why should he care?
We have forgotten that we are a community with both personal and social contracts. It’s not just one way traffic. We owe them opportunity to realize their dreams, including shelter, education, nutrition, mentorship, which gives agency, which allows them to realize their dream.
Thank you for writing this essay on a neglected subject that is only going to get worse without intervention, compassion and empathy.
Thanks, Geoffrey.
Exactly this: "We owe them opportunity to realize their dreams, including shelter, education, nutrition, mentorship, which gives agency, which allows them to realize their dream." So many people seem to think that it's a zero-sum game, while it *could* be a win-win.
Well said! We, need to find, ourselves (plural). The transition from the imprisoned, isolated “Me” to the connected “We” will help us all be happier and healthier.
Tricky story to write, it seems ;).
I feel like I'll be writing from a little more of the bootstraps perspective.
I was cued into the importance of agency for happiness a decade ago, in public-health studies. I like to think that my freedom from obligations (no dependents, no debt, veteran healthcare coverage) has been sufficient to have the agency I do (though I also have a safety net that I've thankfully not had to use much yet).
A line from a movie that's stuck with me for decades now (though apparently it was in the comic book decades before that) is from the Tobey Maguire Spider-Man: "With great power comes great responsibility." Granted. But your article made me think of turning that quote around.
I hypothesize that, if one accepts all that one is capable of, one becomes capable of lots (though the chances of any of it happening may remain slim). One can bash oneself for NOT achieving what one set out to do. ("Do or do not. There is no try.") But the agency one feels -- to try a different way -- more than pays for the setback.
So, how can we convince people that accepting responsibility is key to happiness through agency? Yes, we face all the challenges. But we stand zero chance against them if we give up before we try, leading to despair in the present and demise in the future.
I seek pushback, constructive if possible :)
Thanks, Ben. Let's see if I can offer some thoughts.
- "... if one accepts all that one is capable of..." Can we ever truly know this? Also, this changes and is not (only) up to the individual. Context, environment, actions of others...
- Responsibility is indeed a way to get a sense of agency (nice one, by the way), but I doubt it's the only (or even best?) way. Responsibility is in essence dependent on a sense of duty/accountability. I can easily imagine someone going full hedonist and decide to do stuff (agency) just because it feel good. I can also imagine that, in some instances, these people will be very happy (at least for a while?).
- I wonder if there's a difference between a responsibility you choose vs one that is given to you. Speaking only for myself, the agency I might acquire by a responsibility that is 'forced' on me does the opposite of make me happy (but I might be an outlier here).
I'm sure I missed some stuff along the way ;).
All you can do is all you can do. If you have no control over it, there's no reason for you to feel guilty (or resentful) about it. But anything you DO have control over, well, ... :)