You are such an amazing writer! To get Nietzsche and Shelley and clickbait all into one post is 👌🏻.
Your bride of Frankenstein’s monster analogy makes me think of Erich Fromm’s position in The Art of Loving that love is not a thing to be found and consumed—it is an orientation, a mindset, a verb (cue Massive Attack’s “Teardrop,” but the Jose González cover of it).
“Love is an activity, not a passive affect; it is a ‘standing in,’ not ‘falling for.’”
Standing in love; love it. (For some reason it made me think of Lauryn Hill's 'Can't Take My Eyes Off of You'). Though I have to admit there's a little bit of a tragic element to falling in love I like - light-headed, fluttering butterflies, just like the adrenalin rush when you fall (but land safely). How about a compromise? You fall in love, then help each other up to stand together? 😉
Yes, I like the agency behind the sentiment of standing in, or generating, love vs being fooled by the chasing, the consumption of it. But I do agree that there’s something… extra to love that is non-logical and, thus, ineffable. To fall in love is, after all, to experience the gravity of falling. 💌
But then yeah, once you land, time to stand up again. Together.
Ooh, the gravity metaphor is so apt, Jackie. Being pulled into each other's orbit, falling, circling, seeking, until you find a stable configuration of joint motion.
Loved this. Beautifully written. And feeling very true after getting my heart trampled on after 6 months of online dating - and I still believe in the everyday ‘run of the mill’ love which seems so illusive to find.
Another beautifully written piece. I love how Gunnar is able to weave together philosophy, literature, and science. It's a skill I wish I had.
In this one Gunnar suggest we choose authentic connections over curated perfection, and I couldn't agree more. Thank you for this thoughtful and ultimately optimistic reflection.
Ah, a great Nietzsche quote. The modern world has swept away some things, but no, it needn’t sweep away love. I really enjoyed Freya’s essay, too. I think the broader lack of community is such a big part of the crisis surrounding modern love. A world with fewer friends is just as bad as a world with fewer couples. Great piece!
It's a bit of a cliché at this point, but the outsourcing of third spaces to virtual places hasn't been an unmitigated good, for both love and friendship.
This is pretty gloomy (and of course, accurate) but also greatly positive at the end with the Frankenstein twist. I had forgotten what the monster requested, it's such an optimistic reminder. I might just read it out loud to my next date. :))
You are such an amazing writer! To get Nietzsche and Shelley and clickbait all into one post is 👌🏻.
Your bride of Frankenstein’s monster analogy makes me think of Erich Fromm’s position in The Art of Loving that love is not a thing to be found and consumed—it is an orientation, a mindset, a verb (cue Massive Attack’s “Teardrop,” but the Jose González cover of it).
“Love is an activity, not a passive affect; it is a ‘standing in,’ not ‘falling for.’”
Thanks so much, Danielle!
Standing in love; love it. (For some reason it made me think of Lauryn Hill's 'Can't Take My Eyes Off of You'). Though I have to admit there's a little bit of a tragic element to falling in love I like - light-headed, fluttering butterflies, just like the adrenalin rush when you fall (but land safely). How about a compromise? You fall in love, then help each other up to stand together? 😉
Yes, I like the agency behind the sentiment of standing in, or generating, love vs being fooled by the chasing, the consumption of it. But I do agree that there’s something… extra to love that is non-logical and, thus, ineffable. To fall in love is, after all, to experience the gravity of falling. 💌
But then yeah, once you land, time to stand up again. Together.
Ooh, the gravity metaphor is so apt, Jackie. Being pulled into each other's orbit, falling, circling, seeking, until you find a stable configuration of joint motion.
Loved this. Beautifully written. And feeling very true after getting my heart trampled on after 6 months of online dating - and I still believe in the everyday ‘run of the mill’ love which seems so illusive to find.
Thank you, Tory! (Sorry to hear about your heart; good thing those beating little buggers are resilient 😉)
Another beautifully written piece. I love how Gunnar is able to weave together philosophy, literature, and science. It's a skill I wish I had.
In this one Gunnar suggest we choose authentic connections over curated perfection, and I couldn't agree more. Thank you for this thoughtful and ultimately optimistic reflection.
Thanks, Suzi. (Though I’d argue it’s certainly a skill you have too!)
Thank you! 😊
Ah, a great Nietzsche quote. The modern world has swept away some things, but no, it needn’t sweep away love. I really enjoyed Freya’s essay, too. I think the broader lack of community is such a big part of the crisis surrounding modern love. A world with fewer friends is just as bad as a world with fewer couples. Great piece!
Thank you, Rose!
It's a bit of a cliché at this point, but the outsourcing of third spaces to virtual places hasn't been an unmitigated good, for both love and friendship.
This is pretty gloomy (and of course, accurate) but also greatly positive at the end with the Frankenstein twist. I had forgotten what the monster requested, it's such an optimistic reminder. I might just read it out loud to my next date. :))
"Hi, lovely to meet you. First, can we talk about Frankenstein?"
If his eyes sparkle with enthusiasm at that, immediate green flag.
Hahah I might just try it. I only need to have a date now… 🫣
Ha, that's always the first annoying hurdle, isn't it?