Pivot
In which we change our minds and, perhaps, lives
I know, it’s too early for a motivational ‘new year, new you’ post. I’m sure you’ll be flooded with them in a month. Gets all the clicks. Hail the algorithm.
This post is about people who actually turn their lives around. Not the dull New Year’s resolutions that, on average, crumble by the second Friday in January (known as Quitter’s Day), but an actual pivot. The successful venture capitalist who foregoes millions to become a barista. The couch potato who starts training for ultramarathons. The quiet colleague who sells everything and moves to the other side of the world without a plan.
It reminds me of a quote by William James, aka ‘the father of American psychology’:
To change one's life: 1. Start immediately. 2. Do it flamboyantly. 3. No exceptions.
What makes people pivot, though? Sure, there will inevitably be circumstances and personality traits that facilitate a big life change, but other people in similar circumstances do not pivot.
A 2020 review study was the first to explicitly articulate a psychological ‘construct’ that might have something to do with this: pivotal mental states. In the researchers’ words:
… a hyper-plastic state aiding rapid and deep learning that can mediate psychological transformation.
According to the authors — and remember that this is all hypothetical at the moment — arriving at a pivotal mental state requires chronic stress and neurotic traits (hey, it’s me!) as primers, which are then triggered by an acute stressor. We need a kick in our metaphorical behinds before we consider changing our lives. Let’s pour this into a formula for a fundamental life change:
(chronic stress + neuroticism) * acute stressor = pivotal mental state
This might sound all hand-wavy, but the researchers also provide a biologically plausible mechanism to explain this, which involves the serotonin 2A receptor system and the release of a molecule called 5-HT under stressful circumstances. The details don’t matter here, just know that these things are also tweaked by psychedelics, which might (partially) explain why we hear personal pivot stories that include a psychedelic trip more often than we might expect by chance (or at least that’s my gut feeling).
Despite the recent hype, solid human outcome data on psychedelic use is hard to come by. Sure, there seems to be an effect on brain plasticity, and for some conditions — notably PTSD and unipolar major depressive disorder — certain psychedelics appear beneficial when they’re part of a comprehensive treatment program. Still, there remain many unknowns concerning dosage, type of psychedelic, individual susceptibility, and long-term side effects.
Whatever your stance on psychedelics, even if they might facilitate a pivotal mental state, they are neither necessary nor sufficient.
Let’s pivot back to pivots.
When I graduated as a biologist in the homeland, my perpetual chronic stress and neurotic traits were triggered by the acute stress of having to enter the labor market. Screw that. I pivoted, packed up, and moved to the UK with a single large travel bag to study philosophy. Ah, the student life of contemplation, of grinding ideas down to their bones in pursuit of enlightenment, and of doing strange things at night.
Ari Brouwer and Robin Lester Carhart-Harris, the psychologists who first described pivotal mental states, suggest that these mindstates:
… evolved to allow the experiencer a psychological ‘fresh start’, akin to a psychological ‘rebirth’
Following my rebirth, I kept studying and — thanks to the support of a scholarship — returned to biology. (I know, a weird and winding road.) Then, crap, the acute stressor returned. This time, I couldn’t postpone growing up any longer. Another pivot awaited. But, as the review cautions:
… the same mechanisms could just as easily result in a new or reinforced maladaptive strategy, perhaps best exemplified by a psychotic ‘flight from reality’ or progressive reinforcement of other psychological defense mechanisms.
Add a bunch of painful rejections that fundamentally broke all self-confidence I had left, and… I’ll save you the details, but I’ve had my negative rebirth too. Wouldn’t recommend it.
Given the cost of a negative pivot, are there ways through which we can ensure a pivot is positive? Honestly, I don’t know. I wish I did. The review concludes with a broader societal perspective that I can get behind:
…one can envision an ideal future in which psychological crises are seen less as emergencies requiring immediate suppressive intervention and more as opportunities for development and growth…
As for me, the ineffable feeling of being incomplete always itches and eternal restlessness remains a trusty companion. Chronic stress? Always, it’s my default. (I should probably address that at some point. New Year’s resolution, perhaps.) Neurotic traits? A few. Pivot incoming? We’ll have to wait and see.
Did you ever pivot in your life? How did it turn out (if you’re willing to share, of course)?
Related thoughts
I changed my life after 40 years of promising to write a book, which I did this year on the Pandemic. But here is the catch; I do so only because my mother died. She was my greatest friend and safety net. Aeschylus states it perfectly;
“He who learns must suffer. And even in our sleep, pain that never forgets falls drop by drop, upon the heart, and in our despair, against our will, comes wisdom to us through the awful grace of God.”
My book is Pandoras Box
Hi Gunnar,
I had my pivot as a 40-year-old crisis. I had the world by the tail but couldn’t answer the question; “Why am I here?”. What was my raison d’etre? I left a lucrative position as executive Vice President of Research and Development to become an entrepreneur making medical do dads to help people live better and longer. As I see it there are three fundamental intuitions; the mathematical logic of the senses; the mind-reason of moral duty; a sense of the value of altruistic experience.
Helping others (as you do in your writings) gives life its value.
Keep up the great work!
Thanks
Geoff